Friday, October 30, 2009


My weight has 'haunted' me for years now.

I wrote about dreams not to long ago asking what dreams haunt you. For years off and on I have had a recurring dream about walking up a set of stairs and as I go up they get narrower. At the top of the stairs is a doorway and I have to get through it, but it is too small. I have actually awoken upset and panicking because I couldn't get in the door. I am certain this dream was me subconsciously worrying about my weight.

In the past every time I would start to lose weight I would end of pregnant again and had to stop dieting. Since that isn't going to happen again, I am pretty hopeful that if I start to lose it this time, I won't be putting it back on anytime soon.

When I would see previews for the Biggest Loser, I couldn't understand why anyone would want to have someone yell in their face to lose weight. Now that I watch it I completely understand. What I wouldn't give spend a few weeks in the gym with Jillian and Bob.

So recently I have started walking every morning before work. Just the thought of sweating used to gross me out. Now I look forward to walking. Sadly though instead of losing weight I have gained 5 pounds. Everyone keeps telling me that it is muscle. Yeah me, but when do I stop gaining muscle and start losing weight? I want to start seeing that number go down on the scale instead of increasing.

Do you struggle with your weight? What have you found that helps shed some of those pounds?


1 comment:

Becca said...

Yes, I admit I am the fat chick.