Monday, April 26, 2010

Fred & Ginger

Do you believe in spanking? I am talking about using your hand across their bottom, not using any type of object.

I do believe a child sometimes needs a spanking, but I rarely gave my kids one. In fact I think maybe Little S has gotten one spanking.

At what age do you think is too old to give your child a spanking?

Do you think it is different for boys and girls?

The reason I am asking is due to a recent situation that I was recently informed of by one of my sons.

Teen has a friend we will call Fred. Fred is 17 and a Jr in HS with my son. Fred is also a father to an almost 3 year old. (Go ahead do the math.) Fred obviously had some issues but he has really straightened up his life. (A long story for another day)

Fred recently began dating Ginger who is 15. Ginger's dad is a bit odd to say the least. Ginger has a habit of dating boys for about ten seconds and then breaking up with them. Ginger mostly blames this on her dad. For a long time I thought Ginger was just flighty and used her dad as an excuse.

True to form Ginger broke up with Fred after dating for about 3 days. I asked Teen what the problem was this time and he told me it was Ginger's dad. We just shrugged it off.

The next day Teen told me that Ginger had talked to him and the real reason she broke up with Fred was because her dad found out that Fred had a child. Ginger proceeded to tell Teen that she got a huge spanking because Fred had a child and that her dad said she would continue to get spanked every day until she broke up with him. Naturally Ginger called Fred right away and broke up with him.

Ginger is 15. I think it is ridiculous for a 15 year old girl to get spanked by her father.

I have some pretty strong opinions on this whole situation and just can't seem to get it out of my mind. I feel so bad for Ginger and wish that I could do something.

Am I being overly sensitive or do you think this is just wrong also?



Laurel said...

First - I do not have a problem with spanking a child, my only thing is that I feel you should use your hand so that you feel how much you are hitting them, no spoons, belts, brushes, etc. I also feel that it should not be done in anger. Too much emotion there.

Now, the key word there is "child". As for "Ginger", she is a young lady. I feel this is wrong. There are so many other ways to punish. Grounding, loss of phone privleges, etc. I have to say that when I read this, it made me feel like it was too much. Almost abusive. To have a father spank a 15 yr old girl? That is wrong, abusive, perhaps even a "sexual" abuse? I don't know. Just wrong.

Vonnie said...

15 is too old. That is one seriously messed up father. I did spank my kids. As I matured, I found other ways to disipline. Thus the younger 2 got spanked much less. Hardly ever really.

Shannon said...

I do agree in spanking- but only infrequently and only in times of direct disobedience. It was something we used, but not very often at all.

I think Ginger's dad definitely has some issues- and it would concern me too. To be honest I think it's creepy.

Crystal said...

I can only think of two incidents that led to the spanking of my children. In general we don't spank, but I see where there is a need on occasion. I know I got spanked when I was a kid and it didn't scar me for life, but I haven't forgotten either.

That said, my parents quit spanking me once I was old enough to receive other punishments like grounding or taking away privileges. It seems wrong on so many levels that this Dad is spanking his 15 year old daughter. She is too old for him to be that physical with her. Not to mention the punishment doesn't seem to fit the "crime" in any way, shape, or form.

Jeankfl said...

I agree totally with the others. I have no problem with spanking, with limits, as discussed, and did on my stepchild. But, 15 is wwaaaaayy too old for a girl to be spanked by her father. I agree there is a "hint" of sexual abuse there. That said, does she have any siblings? Does he still spank them? I wasn't ever spanked past about 5 or 6 years old. After that, other punishments were much more effective. I'd think about calling the abuse hotline to have the situation evaluated..He's using it to control her, not for punishment, and that says a lot!

Becca said...

I don't spank, but then again never had to.

That father sounds like he is abusive. I would talk to Ginger and see what else he spanks her for. He sure does sound like he is an egg shy of a dozen!

Dory said...

Wow.... what a tough situation.

(My girls are currently 10, 12 and 24. I can't see myself spanking any of them anymore... although I am not opposed to a little swat on the hiney if needed.)

You're right, it DOES seem wrong at her age. And seems to border on abuse. But.... what will/can you do? Makes me sad for Ginger.