Tuesday, September 20, 2011


My friend 'Dory' recently wrote a post about how much she misses her dad.  In the post she wrote about an analogy that was in the movie 'Rabbit Hole'. Please take a minute and read her post: Three Years Later

After reading that post, I got to thinking about what 'bricks' I carry around with me. I lost my dad in 1990 when I was just shy of 19.  He died of cancer related to Agent Orange from Vietnam.

He would probably laugh that I put this picture up here for all to see. I am not sure what year this was taken, but it was definitely before 1989 and it was Christmas time in our kitchen.  And yes, I believe his pajama's had the 'flap' in the back...lol  I know that this is Christmas because of all of the Tupperware containers on the counter behind him. My Mum always makes a TON of cookies for Christmas and still uses some of those same containers to this day for her cookies.
This picture kind of cracks me up and make me long for those simple times so many years ago.

This is a 'brick' I have carried around with me for many years. Some of the times I have reached in and it really hurt: my wedding and not being able to have a daddy/daughter dance, the birth of my children and watching them grow up, those are just a few times that it has hurt...but after 20+ years it has become sadly, normal.

Sometimes my Mum and I can talk about him and laugh at the things he did (see above photo) or said..."sufficiently safansafied" :)  (his way of saying he was full at dinner) And other times, like recently when going through old photo's we cry or turn them over so we don't cry.

A few years ago our family lost 4 family member within a year and a half. Some of those bricks are still a little heavy but are starting to lighten up. The hurt is still real and fresh at times but it also has become bearable with time.

Thanks 'Dory' for sharing that little part of a movie that has also helped put into words what is sometimes so hard to do.



Lucky Wife/Bookaholic said...

I am going to bookmark her post and read it another time, I lost my dad just a month ago, and... and... I had to pause and breathe just to write this much...
I think I bst me home when I read it, not at work. :)

Becca said...

Hugs Stacy. My heart goes out to you.

Jen said...

I love this picture. Your dad looks like someone who'd steal my heart!

Thank God for precious memories.

Beast Mom said...

Pic is great - so is the post. Thanks for sharing a part of your heart.